I spoke to Dr. Michaels shortly after the last post. As usual he put me at ease as much as is possible at this point. He was also disappointed that we were unable to get an appointment with the neurosurgeon sooner. He promised to call as soon as we were off the phone. I asked him questions.. like where the tumor was located. It is in the thalamus. Thats the center of the brain. If your head was an apple.. that would be a seed. I don't like that at all. Not one little bit.
He said that if it were asymptomatic, then they would probably just monitor, but since Manny is showing so many symptoms, that they will probably opt to try to remove/shrink it. He mentioned surgery, radiation.....Dr. Michaels is very clear that this isn't his speciality, and that he will defer to the brain surgeons to tell me what is what. We hung up after he promised to make things happen faster.
The nurse called and told me that everybody had gone home at the neurosurgery group, and that they were booked solid through next week, but she would talk to her supervisor tomorrow and see.. Dr. M's nurse just wanted to assure me that they were working on it. As I was walking out the door to go see a friend and "take a break" the phone rang again. We have an appointment tomorrow in Atlanta at 10 AM.
Steve went with the kids to Erlanger in Chattanooga to pick up the disk from radiology records so that I can take it with me in the morning. I came home from my visit to an empty house. I can't remember the last time I came home from somewhere and nobody was here.
I am in some sort of survival/nightmare/dream state. I can't talk normally to anyone at this point and, for the third time in my life I wonder how "everybody else" can just walk around doing their normal day-to-day thing. I may throw something at the next person who tells me that I'm strong.. or that I'm a good mom.
Tomorrow.. get up.. get Jake ready for the sitter, get Manny dressed.. should I pack a bag? What's going to happen? Is this real?
