Jake Helps and Recycles

The day I got pregnant with Jake I started planning. Doesn't every mother? Aside from the regular "gear" gathering and nesting, I began to plan for the cool stuff we were going to do... music festivals, camping, playdates. When I would see someone with a happy toddler dancing to the music at the market I would ask them how old the baby was. "13 months" they might say and I would think "Oh wow, when my baby's a year old he'll be dancing at the market!"

I kept asking others how old their babies were after Jake was born. Thats when I started noticing his delays. It was becoming pretty apparant that things weren't going as I had so carefully planned out in my mind.

I was and still am quite a big disappointment to my own family. I'm quite the black sheep, and as a result I have almost no relationship with my family, save a still tentative and stand-offish one with my father and Mamaw. I get the feeling that I didn't go as they had planned either. Unfortunately, I didn't "go bad" until my pre-teen years, as far as I can tell.

Sometimes I feel really lucky that I am learning about Jake's differences and what I can do to help him so early. It has made me accept that my "plans" have been thwarted, and appreciate that maybe my plans weren't that great in the first place. The new path that I'm taking is probably much more interesting than just trying to keep doing the things that I did as a younger person while dragging my kids along. I had planned to show him the wonders of life, instead both boys are showing ME a thing or two.

One of the things I've really felt left-out on sometimes is doing "activities" with Jake. You know, you see the cookie commercials where mom and 3 year old are mixing cookies and are both covered in flour and laughing. Or the images of moms and kids playing with play-dough during "craft time." I've just never been able to get Jake to do these hands-on activities with me, and so very often trying to do anything "my hands on his hands" results in a very angry child going "boneless" until I let him go do his own thing again.




Today I had set several cans of beans on the counter in order to make foule (a spiced bean soup) and Jake brought one to me, sat it down and said and signed "beans, eat!" I took this as an opportunity to see if he would help me with dinner. Well, with the help of sign, the activity went better than I could imagine. He poured the beans in the strainer after I opened the cans and showed him how. He helped me dump the strained beans into the crock. Then we shook lots of cinnamon and cumin and chili powder (hope Daddy likes really spicy soup) and then he stirred it all himself, added a little more water per my request, and stirred again. Then we tasted. Tonight we eat the first meal made by Mommy AND Jake. I was so happy, and I hope that Jake has a sense of pride eating something that he helped to make himself. I know Daddy will be proud.






About Recycling? You know we do it in this house. I've been recycling since before it was "cool" to do so.. pretty much since I moved out of my parent's house at 18. This past weekend after a party/concert at a friend's house, Jake and I went down to the stage area while Daddy broke camp. The revelry the night before had left a few bottles and cans discarded on the ground. Jake is already obsessed with recycle bins and knows the recycle symbol. He was happy to help me pick up a few things and deposit them in the bins. When we got home, I went to his room only to find it completely devoid of toys on the floor. Huh?! I usually pick up a few times per day just to make sure he doesn't fall and hurt himself on the carpet of toys and things he dumps out in there. Despite daily tries, I've never gotten him to participate in clean up. I looked all around and finally noticed a collapsible laundry hamper was shoved full to popping with all of his toys. I asked what he was doing and he said "Clean up, clean up! Recycle Bin!" (which he pronounces "recycle BEAN!"). Since the clothes hamper didn't look like it was going to last much longer, that evening I presented him with his own homemade recycle bin. His room has been so much cleaner since.