This is a post made to some of my local group message boards. I hope that it doesn't cause drama:
Jake was born in a hospital. When I was pregnant I read "What to expect when you're expecting" and the "American Academy of Pediatrics, Caring for your Baby and Young Child." I guess I didn't know any better. I wanted a natural birth because I was afraid of surgery, it was totally selfish. I was also interested in babywearing, so I started "hanging out" in the online circles that promoted natural childbirth and babywearing. I felt that the mamas who didn't vaccinate and who breastfed their babies past 6 months or so upheld a totally different level of crunchiness than I would never achieve.
I truly felt like I (and when I say "I" i mean "we" because my husband was totally there with me in making every decision) made educated decisions when I decided to birth in a hospital, circumcise my firstborn son, and vaccinate according to the schedule recommended by my pediatrician.
My son, Jake, developed poor muscle tone and a many other gross motor issues before the age of 18 months when he finally walked. He was evaluated by the local early intervention program at that age and found to have no significant delays. Now, at the age of 3 years, he has a severe speech delay accompanied by a host of other symptoms. I am on an amazingly long waiting list to have my son diagnosed. However, I'm not stupid, and I can navigate the internet. I know that my son falls within the autism spectrum.. and most of the time I feel that he will be "high fuctioning".. however, other days I wonder.
I can actually look back at my blog and find when Jake started exhibiting symptoms, and yes.. it does correspond to a particularly bad case of "fussiness" after a round of vaccinations. The fact that I wasn't the least bit suspicious of vaccinations at the time makes it even more heartbreaking to go back and read. It is a particularly dark place that I visit when I think of these things. I want to say that I don't 100% blame vaccinations, because there are neuro-typical kids out there who are vaccinated, I just wonder.. and I always will. My ideas on what has caused the "outbreak" of autism doesn't make for interesting reading for the purposes of this particular post.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, but I wanted to get a few things out.
The other day while I was visiting my food coop, I was discussing the evil icky things in foods these days. I mentioned that I had an autistic son (its simpler for me to use the term autistic, instead of PDD-NOS or whatever) and was afraid of all additives. The ladyI spoke to went on about the latest miracle cure diet that had "cured" her relative.. and as we discussed various issues finally asked "Is your son vaccinated." I said "yes.. he was fully vaccinated" and she said "that is probably what caused it" and walked away.
My second son, now 9 months old, was born at home, is not circumcised, is unvaccinated, and will probably be exposed to very few food additives. Will he be "like Jake"? I have no idea. Many will say "of course not". I watch his every move.
I am and will always be an advocate of homebirth and natural parenting, in fact.. since my husband and I are no longer planning on adding to our family, I find myself still VERY interested in childbirth and changing the business of birth in our socieity. I hope to get involved in birth on some level once my children are older, either as a doula, childbirth educator or midwife. But I ask you all please PLEASE be gentle with those who are ignorant of your particular practices. If I had the chance to meet myself, as a pregnant first-time mother.. as the mother that I am today.. gosh...what would I tell me?
Thanks for listening
